Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
