to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
