You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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