at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My first STD was from a foam party
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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