i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
