We're like a lot better than the average bears
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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