I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
