Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
