can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
