i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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