I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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