Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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