end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
