i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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