I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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