Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
