She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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