Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
