Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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