Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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