I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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