it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
