nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's rum buckets o'clock
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
