i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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