im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
