They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's shark week go big or go home
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
