i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
