Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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