i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
