grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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