Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
