then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
