Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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