Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
His nipple licking is glorious
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