I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
