I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
