Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
