is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
