Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
