Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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