see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
