A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
