And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
