when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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