Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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