This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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