whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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