Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
