yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
