please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's never too late to be topless.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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