32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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